An Interview.

I have this dream, that one day I could write my own book, they have my name on the magazine or even the history book, and got interview by a number of journalist. Hm, maybe I should just get out and become an artist, or a model instead. What do you think? Haha I was just kidding, too much camera clicking everywhere I go is just not my thing. At least not all the time.

I was reading the Jakarta Post weekender, one of my favorite magazine - and definitely a good one to be read while you're being lazy on Sunday morning. I know this is Tuesday, but anyhow who cares?

The thing is I run into an interview of Najwa Shihab, one of the best presenter in Indonesia. One bold young woman, she's definitely an inspiration. Since I was doing nothing, I got this idea to make her interview on me. What will I answer, cause I was curious myself. So here it goes...

My mood right now...
It's kinda blue actually. It has nothing to do with Monday, Tuesday, or Friday because I'm on my holiday mood these days - happy to be home, meet up with my family boyfriend and best friends (Wups, I mentioned boyfriend, didn't I? Shouldn't do that if you're such a celebrity) I was just finished - well the right word will be giving up on the cookies I was trying to make, a tiramisu. Haven't failed before, and this time I failed. It's kinda ruined my mood actually.

As a kid, I was…
Depends on how much kid are you talking about. When I was five to eleven, I was practically not feminime at all. It's kind of a metamorphosis actually, I was always the center of attention when I was little. As the first born of my parents, first grand children from my Mom's family side, and not to mention I've got a bright brunette hair and white skin - I've got eyes on me. In a nutshell, I was happy!

I am angered by …
Oh I definitely can make a list of this. Last minute people. The lies. Unprofessional people. Plus, as Najwa Shihab said, people’s insensitivity or ignorance. I'm not ambitious but I'm such a perfectionist. I can deal with the job that supposed to be others but trust is also thrown away together.

And laugh at...
That thing you put on the dashboard of your car and can't stop to move its head, it keeps on moving or dancing and I can't stop laughing at it. Also movies - Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller, and Jack Black. I laughed easily when I'm with children, not to mention my big family and friends during our hang outs.

I would never...
Make a painting. I'm not blessed by that division of art.

My guilty pleasure...
Run away from the crowd. Just me spending the quality time with myself, away from crowd enjoying good food good music and definitely a good tea. I love a homy atmosphere, or beach - instead of the malls or subway. I love singing loud and no one even care.

People would be surprised to know about me...
As Najwa said, "I’m an introvert." A friend once told me about this aura I have - it's like telling people "don't mess with me". People will not easily approach me because they, hm, what's the word for 'segan' ya? Yea, you know. I actually loves to cook cakes and cookies and I still hope that I could end up as a singer or dancer.

The food I cannot resist...
Strawberry, pasta and pempek! Thank God they're exist.

I’m proudest of...
Me?
Not yet, I guess.

And regret the most...
I can't be a ballerina, it's kind a bit too late for me. i shouldn't listen too much to my Mom and Dad during high school. If it's happen, I would be a great dancer singer and be able to speak French by now. I've been over focused to my academic things, and making too much worries on the score. I should challenge myself, so much more.

My three dream dinner guests, and why, and what I would serve…
This is hard. Let's say, John Mayer from the Hollywood side. He's my favorite artist and a quality time with him is definitely uncompromised. Margaret Thatcher, former British Prime Minister. She has always reminds me of one cold hand woman in the world history. The last one, can I ask God to come to dinner?

The talent I wish I had...
Making artworks. But well, may God bless me with a better cooking skill for now.

My favorite journey…
Haven't found one yet. May I will find one soon, somewhere in a part of Europe.

I’m bored by...
Doing nothing. It will easily pissed me off seeing people's being too busy and I'm being too un-occupied.

The last time I cried...
I cried when I hurt people I love the most. And the last time I cried, I was disappointing one of the best man I ever had in my life. He has waited his lifetime to the moment, and I blew it off just like that.

Favorite piece of music...
I'm a lyrical person. I write the words before decide the rhytme. And I love great music, any kind of it but please I can't stand those punk alternative rock and friends - it's just not a music to me. I have quite a great taste of music and I enjoy both easy listening and emotional musics.

And movie...
Like any other women in the world, I love romantic comedies. My favorite one is Pride and Prejudice. I love great quotes that means great script of a movie. So, I can learn something from it. Let's just say Elizabethtown and Serendipity are the kinds of movies I can watch ten thousand times.

Don’t ever call me...
A pretty without a brain - I'll kick your ass. I hate how people see the beautiful girls and make their own judgment that a pretty girl has no brain. Oh come on, you may be just a little bit too jealous missy?

If I could change one thing about myself...
Learn to accept the failures. I know failures are not fiasco, but it's hard for me to deal with those.

My biggest fear...
If I have to live the rest of my life, living with too much what ifs. Because I have lose the guts to choose what's actually the best for me. Or even more, the things I want the most in life. That at the end, I spend my life like most of people - just dream but never live one. Maybe they say, you don't always get what you want - but I'll run for what I want.

My life motto...
"At the end of the day, you're on your own."

Remember me as...
I guess this is my homework. To find out who am I want to be remembered as - have you ever think about that?

Good afternoon folks.

Feeling like such a pathetic idiot. Got final exams tomorrow and next is holiday, wupsidoo!

Dan bahkan saya dan Githa terlalu labil untuk menentukan mau pulang hari apa, ting-tong. Satu hal yang pasti mulai semester depan saya akan pindah kost ke serong depan kamar Githa atau depannya atau... yang jelas satu kost sama dia dan Gyazi, this place called Studio Parahyangan. I never fancy a room which is too big, kebiasaan sepertinya. Semoga dapat restu si om bule.

House of My Dream

You'll probably laughing at me while reading this post. I may look like some crazy-18-years-old that knows everything a little bit too much about what she wants and what she doesn't want. Frankly speaking, I love to imagine the future in details.

Have you guys ever watched "It's Complicated"? It's one of the random romance film cast by Meryl Streep - one of the greatest actress of all time. I won't talk about the movie script because what amazed me was nothing but the set of the film. Her perfect house with perfect garden and a small but warm bakery and coffee shop - oh my God, can it be more perfect?
I grew up in a small family, and since then I'm dreaming of having a big family of my own. One big and warm family to where you run to when the world makes you too tired. And the scent of wood, green garden, and hot tea are definitely the best scent to complete the picture. I'm a non caffeine person, so yes I will enjoy all kinds of tea or even martini instead.

I used to imagine living in a flat/apartment where the architecture and interior design is minimalistic, just ideal to picture a life of modern woman. All things are painted in black white or red, or even pale colors - it's just so me. I never go with striking colors, it hurts my eyes and gives me too much attention. Well, with eyes watching you when you're inside the room - I found it a flatter and quite disturbing.

Not to mention, I hate metals. Even just the scent of it even after I touch it in a bliss - like my door key or even coins, I always wash my hand - dear, that's happen. I bring zwitsal everywhere, in case I don't get to wash my hand properly. Say I'm a sanity freak but yes my nose is very sensitive of all kind of scents. I can even smell the different between clean water, water with high level of metals, or water with high levels of caporit. Sounds like a freak much?

Getting older, makes me realize that I do need green spaces for my house, a big one. It's more luxurious to have a big green space then just to make it big and painted with gold - yucks. People should find peace in their house, don't you think? And the green scent always can makes you relax.

I'm not really a brand-minded person. But I know a good one when I see it, or even one that will be a great something someday. This happens for things and people, of course. My mom always told me that the best thing about fashion, is not how expensive your clothes are - but how you wear it and eventually makes it look hundred times more expensive. And that's why I always go with the simplest thing. I really think the simplest things are the most precious ones.


See what I'm talking about? The porch is saying, "Please come in, I'll keep you safe."


And this is showing you the picture perfect of the house, from above.




Imagine you're waking up every morning and be able to smell the wet green grass and the smell of jasmine in the morning? Godness.

Remember I told you about having a beautiful green-garden? This is what I'm talking about. Well actually I'm not a garden-person since I can't enjoy gardening at all except to sit down on a bench in it and enjoy afternoon reading. All that makes me excited is when it's time to harvest or to water those plants - and that's it. I just don't enjoy gardening, I really prefer cooking. But you see, her garden in the picture is so simple and neat and colorful - it will be such a cosy rendezvous because people in the suburbs today rarely pay attention to space for garden at their house.

Besides, my mom loves gardening. Means she'll love to visit me and got stuffs to do in the garden than just sit down and watch tv - that's not how my family does it.


Isn't that looks like such an aisle to heaven?
Morning sun trying to get through the hallway, beautiful.






And that's...the heaven. Nah, I'm kidding. That's the kitchen part of the house. and I can't ask for any better kitchen than that. In the movie, Meryl Streep's hobby is cooking so practically the room is enough for the kitchen and the details placement is just perfect (ps: you gotta say "perfect" with the British accent this time). The composition, of the bar, the cooking lot, table for breakfast and table for big supper is just the exactly the way every house should be. Morning calls in the kitchen and family prime time on the dinner table - enough to describe warmth.

It's such a paradox, I mean - I am that person who you see running in the morning for her work and maybe come home late because her work will asked her to be so. But I think it just will be the-again-simplest lovely way to wake up in the morning, spend quick breakfast at the bar and I'm making lunch for the little boys and girls before they go to school. Maybe I don't get to cook the dinner - that's positive but there's always weekend when you can spoiled your family through their stomach. Dining out at a restaurant always fun but sometimes you just not to happy to deal with traffic right? Although yes, culinary travel is a must to do - especially when you meet my Dad.

Besides, imagine a friend of yours, the neighbor, or a friend of the children come visit in the afternoon then the best place to have the fun chat is at this kitchen bar - instead of the living room.



Have I told you I enjoy cooking, a lot? Well it's still part of the learning - and this December off I will definitely cook as much as I can, taking a course if it helps. But I prefer bakery cakes and pastry instead cooking Indonesian food - I will kill myself to cook it. I was talking about culinary travel and such exotic foods like Indonesian, Indian, and peranakan should be eaten in one dining out. Haha well I don't know later when it gets me professional, but I prefer american european foods to cook - frankly speaking. Blame my half culture still comes from Eastern Europe.







You should visit Harvey Nichols 'The Social House' at Grand Indonesia. That's...just the best place that can also describe my little bakery dream-oh-dream. The scent of woods, homy but still looks modern and clean - that's one thing. People can meet someone they know or they don't, old friend and new friend. A cup of coffee or tea with a pastry or cake always helps the conversation, through morning to afternoon. The air is moist and definitely not air-contidioned, ergh I hate air-conditioner. Children running here and there - you know how much children loves cookies and how much I love children, so they maybe screaming and pointing "Mom I want that, Mom I want this" but that's just such a pretty picture to enjoy.

Here they can do breakfast or afternoon tea or even zip for a wine. My Dad is wine admirer so if I can put a giant shelf for the wines, I bet he will spend every weekend at my place. Sounds a dreamer enough? Oh please, you have just only heard the tip of it.


You may ask what is this for? Well enjoying the sunset on this wooden swing or a quick chat with your neighbor that's passing by, or even giving the children place to get closer to their boyfriend/girlfriend one day. I mean, "hey, they will grow up and be young and fall in love - then to make them play behind your back, better to make the space right?" True story.






Cheerios.

Simplicity of heart.

If you really love me, set me free. Let me live with my dreams and I'll let you live yours. Choosing between love and dreams is not necessarily when you're holding hands, through distance and time. My success will be your pride, and so does yours. Because I understand the word love, the simplest way. Even if we have our own path of dreams, every time we turn around there's always the others and you're the one standing by the end of the road. For me. Because we believe one thing, each one has its dreams and it ends on the word, us.

That's how simple my love is.

We're young, we're free.

You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does.
- Tom Petty

This quite reminds me of the song you know,
"We are young, we run free, stay up late, got the night... we'll be allright."

She is...

She has no single genuine word to describe herself. She is young, beautiful, but she is the kind that always wanting more. She has always treated special, whether she asked or not. Sometimes she hates the attention, sometimes she enjoys it. She walks with her head up, and don't bother the talks behind. She looks ahead, sometimes way too ahead. When she's in love with something, she's going to have it - the easy way or the hard way. Not ambitious; but perfectionist. She has short term of memory when it comes to remembering names. She loves strawberry in every way. She always describe tiger when it comes to define herself but she's always love a duck. She's the observer type, it takes time to gets her talkative. She sings she dances with grace with heart, but sometimes she puts too much heart at so many things - and she doesn't know which one to come first.

She's always be daddy's little girl. Grow up with her idealism and her pluralism. She's the kind that couldn't sit down and wait for hours, but she can sit down - drink tea - and read.

Movies Welcoming 2011

I know, I know... I should be reading my books right now since I still got 3 coming up exams by tomorrow, Wednesday, and finally Friday! Dear God, how I can't wait until Friday and the rest after those... is the awaiting holiday, yeay me! Anyway, I spent the first part of today by going to CCF and a small library near my place, daym they have numbers of great books. Too bad I have just known them. Anyway, holiday's coming up and that means I'll have a full month free to spend with my friends family, and of course my superman :)

Since new year is coming over soon, here's the list of the upcoming 2011 movies you're definitely have to watch. Don't miss it!

RANGO
This computer-animated film is scheduled to be released on March 18th, 2011. The premise involves a pet who runs away from home on a hilarious journey of self-discovery. Gore Verbinski will direct the film, and the following actors will lend their voices to the project: Johnny Depp, Ray Winstone, Isla Fisher, Alfred Molina and Abigail Breslin.

SPIDER-MAN 4
James Vanderbilt has been tabbed to write the script for the next movie in the Spider-Man franchise (tentatively scheduled for May 31st, 2011). It’s still unclear if director Sam Raimi and star Tobey Maguire will be back on board, but there’s a good chance that the series will continue anyway. My pick for the next duo of villains (Hollywood seems obsessed with multiple villains) is The Vulture and The Lizard.

THE FIRST AVENGER: CAPTAIN AMERICA
Opening on May 6th, 2011, this film will serve as a lead-in for the Avengers movie (which opens a few months later). Joe Johnston will direct, while Samuel L. Jackson has already signed on to reprise his role as Nick Fury. The movie follows the adventures of a scrawny World War II soldier who is injected with the Super Soldier Formula. This gives him amazing fighting abilities, and he takes on the Germans under the identity of Captain America. Eventually frozen in a block of ice, he’s thawed out decades later and fights supervillains as a member of The Avengers.

CARS 2
In this sequel to the Disney/Pixar animated hit, Mater and Lighting will head overseas for even more zany adventures. Cars 2 is one of many good movies coming in 2011, and it’s currently scheduled for a June 24th, 2011 release. Larry the Cable Guy and Owen Wilson have already signed on to provide their voices.

KUNG FU PANDA 2
The first Kung Fu Panda film was released during the summer of 2008, and it made a ton of money for Dream Works Animation. Not surprisingly, a sequel has been scheduled for June 3rd, 2011. At this time, Jack Black and Angelina Jolie have both committed to the project.

THE AVENGERS
Of all the good movies coming in 2011, this one may be the best. Scheduled for a July 15th, 2011 debut, the film will follow the exploits of The Avengers, the top superhero team of the Marvel universe. Zak Penn is writing the screenplay, and Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Downey Jr., and Don Cheadle are expected to star. Members of The Avengers should include Thor, The Hulk, Iron Man, Captain America, Ant Man, and (maybe) The Wasp.

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART II
The final book of the Harry Potter series is being split up into two movies. On July 15th, 2011, the final film of the blockbuster franchise will debut in theaters. As of this moment, David Yates is attached to direct. Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint will all return for one last adventure at Hogwarts.

HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA
People can’t seem to get enough of the animated comedies, and this one should be especially beloved by fans of the old Universal movie monsters. The plot of the film has Dracula, the Mummy, the Werewolf and Frankenstein hanging around an Eastern European hotel after being made irrelevant by modern technology and ideas. Scheduled for a September 30th, 2011 release.

THE HOBBIT
Right now, the plan is to have The Hobbit hit theaters on New Year’s Eve, 2011. Peter Jackson will produce, and Guillermo Del Toro will direct. A prequel to the Lord of the Rings trilogy, this film will follow the adventures of Bilbo Baggins. Expect Gandalf the Wizard (Ian McKellen) to make an appearance, as well as that precious little Gollum.

THE BEAR AND THE BOW
This animated movie from Pixar will feature the voices of Reese Witherspoon, Emma Thompson and Billy Connolly. The story revolves around the adventures of a princess who would rather be an archer and her quest to free her mother and kingdom from a dreadful curse. Scheduled to be released on December 31st, 2011.

THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN: SECRET OF THE UNICORN
Another one of the good movies coming in 2011, this 3D motion capture film will be directed by Steven Spielberg and star Daniel Craig, Jamie Bell, Andy Serkis, Nick Frost, Simon Pegg, Toby Jones and Mackenzie Crook. The central character, Tintin, is a young reporter who gets into all kinds of amazing adventures. Based on the character created by author Georges Remi, also known by his pen name “Herge.”

BIG CATS
This Disney nature film will allow audiences of all ages to meet a leopard, a lioness and a cheetah. As they raise their young, these three feline mothers will use their wits and physical prowess to survive the dangerous surroundings of the African plains. This should be one of the best family films of 2011.

FRANKENWEENIE
Made with 3D animation, this project will be a remake of Tim Burton’s 1984 short film about a dog brought back to life by his owner. Walt Disney Pictures will be handling the project, and Burton will be filling the producer’s role.

NAKED BEAUTY: A LOVE STORY THAT FEEDS THE EARTH
Another Disney film for 2011, Naked Beauty follows the act of pollination, both from the perspective of flowers, and animals such as butterflies, bees, bats and hummingbirds. This film will present a great educational opportunity for the entire family.

RIPLEY’S BELIEVE IT OR NOT!
Jim Carrey is signed to star in this film about a man who became famous for scouring the world for human oddities. Along the way, he realizes these special people deserve just as much respect as anyone else. Director Chris Columbus will helm this heartwarming tale.

TERMINATOR 3
Three Terminator films are planned with actor Christian Bale (assuming he doesn’t kill one of the crew members before that time). The 4th film will hit theaters in 2009, and it will be followed up by this 2011 movie. McG is penciled in to direct the trilogy.

TUSKER
Ted Tally is writing the screenplay for this tale of a young elephant’s journey to find himself. This should be one of many quality family films for 2011.

TRANSFORMERS 3
The planned release date is June 29th, 2011. Expect the original cast to return and more robots to be introduced. Man, nobody beats Hollywood when it comes to getting kids to buy useless plastic toys.

ATLANTIS RISING
Len Wiseman will direct this film adaptation of the popular graphic novel. Scheduled to be one of the summer movies of 2011.

GET SMART 2
After the success of the first Get Smart film, Warner Bros wasted no time in signing Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway to do another one.

THE LONE RANGER
Expected to be released in 2011, the film will be based on the classic black-and-white television show. In 2008, it was announced that Johnny Depp would be portraying Tonto, the Lone Ranger’s Indian partner. As of this writing, the role of the Lone Ranger has yet to be filled.

THE GIVER
Slated for a 2011 release, The Giver is based on a novel written by Lois Lowry. The story revolves around a young boy and his life in a society which has eliminated pain and strife. As you might have guessed, this development comes with a price. David Yates is attached to direct, although no cast has been selected.

THE MAN WHO KILLED DON QUIXOTE
This Terry Gilliam film originally started filming in 2000, but it stopped production after a number of on-set accidents. In 2009, pre-production started up again. In the film, a British ad executive travels through time and gets involved in the adventures of Don Quixote. Johnny Depp has signed on to star in the film, but his busy schedule will cause shooting to be delayed.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES
Captain Jack Sparrow comes back in the fourth installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean. But this time, people won’t be seeing Kierra Knightly and Orlando Bloom. Both of them expressed the desire for a career change. The film will be under the direction of Rob Marshall. Pirates of the Caribbean On Stranger Tides is based on the award-winning book by Tim Powers.

GREEN LANTERN
DC Comics will enter the 2011 box office and battles Marvel with the release of Green Lantern under Warner Brothers. The movie will star Ryan Reynolds as Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) and Blake Lively as Carol Ferris.

THOR
The box-office success of Marvel’s superheroes are unrelenting. After Spiderman, Iron Man and Wolverine occupied the top spot, Marvel planned to release Thor. This will be his first journey to the silver screen after some time. Thor will be played by actor Chris Hemsworth (George Kirk in the Star Trek (2009) and supporting cast that includes veteran actress Natalie Portman (Jane Foster) and Samuel L. Jackson (Nick Fury). The Mighty Thor is schedule to hit movie theaters in May of 2011.

Need some more mood booster?
Check this out at your local cinema.

UNTITLED SHERLOCK HOLMES SEKUEL

SUPER 8

FAST FIVE

BAD TEACHER

JUST GO WITH IT

JOHNNY ENGLISH REBORN

WINNIE THE POOH

I AM NUMBER FOUR

30 MINUTES OR LESS

DRIVE ANGRY - 3D

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: GHOST PROTOCOL

HALL PASS

BATTLE: LOS ANGELES

UNKNOWN

PAUL

THE GREEN HORNET

COWBOYS & ALIENS

Enjoy!

Christmas tree and St. Claus

I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents on the tree

















"No more lives torn apart,
that wars would never start,
and time would heal all hearts.
Every man would have a friend,
that rights would always win,
and love would never end.

This is my grown-up christmas list"







All I want for christmas, is you.
And that everything is going to be allright.

Fame?

There are some things success is not. It's not fame, it's not money or power. Success is waking up in the morning, so excited about what you have to do, that you literally fly out the door. It's getting to work with people you love. Success is connecting with the world and making people feel. It's finding a way to bind together people who have nothing in common but a dream. It's falling asleep at night knowing you did the best job you could. Success is joy and freedom and friendship.
- The movie, Fame.

Real Beauty?

Perseverance, poise, idealism, and inner beauty.

What If?

They just don't trust what they can't explain. (Two Worlds, Phil Collins)
Is it them, or is it me?

What if,
I'm that kind of person who can't handle the idea of the last-minute call or dealing with something that way too unpredictable beyond my control. Explain that more and less I'm quite a control freak. Was't that the definition of life, by the way?
What if,
I'm too busy thinking about the future and start to taking for granted all the things in my hold right now? I'm too scared of making mistakes and instead walking forward - I do something which is worse than walking in reverse, I don't even move at all. What if I only ended up imagining things, those dreams.

What if, what if?
What if people living their life with too much 'What Ifs'?
Can people actually have everything they've always wanted?
How can you see, how can you... choose?
What if?

Oh dear, it's already five 'What Ifs'.

Dawson's Creek and Us

Joey: I was scared.
Dawson: Of what?
Joey: Of going backwards, of never growing up.
Dawson: That's what I represent to you?
Joey: No, not you. Us. I started this year thinking that I had to say good-bye to you, but I was wrong. Dawson, you're a huge part of my life - past, present, and future - and I have to start getting used to that because... you make my life better, not worse.

This is definitely dedicated for my boyfriend, xo.

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY KHAIRUNNISA

Happy birthday my dearest Khairunnisa, cium peluk dari kota Bandung. Always know that you're one in a million and yes I love you that much!

The simplest way to wish you all the best is to sing you this. Enjoy birthday lady! and have a blast.



ps: dengan segala hormat gue nggak bisa bikin suara sama gerakan sinkron setelah diupload dan ini nggak bisa upload full length video nis versi lengkapnya akan coming soon as soon as we meet again, xoxo

Told you I'm a Pluralist.

I post this years ago, but I always put it in draft. Since I don't want people to figure too much what's inside my head - or I just don't have the guts. Make your own position.

I hate talking about this, actually. I was born and grew up with a family with such high plurality values and I love them too much for it - I thank God for it. That it doesn't matter which country you're coming from (well kecuali warga negara yang statusnya ilegal - hahaha) how much money in your pocket and which God are you believed in, as long as you're a good man with respect and well-educated, you're always welcome.

Sometimes I'm blaming on this country with its such racist culture. But as I grew up as sees back throughout the history - I can't do that. Centuries ago, this land was no one's land. And we were separated geographically.

Bukan rahasia dan adalah usaha yang sia-sia untuk memungkiri bahwa keberadaan budaya di negara kita mengikat bahkan lebih kuat dari hukum itu sendiri, bahkan kadang secara tak sadar. Keberadaan etika budaya yang sering disalahkan atas perkembangan kita yang lambat. But anyway, I don't want to talk about that this time. I've been seen a lot of scenes where people are breaking up because they 'happen' to have different faith. Trus gue biasanya ketawa, miris. I've been there. And, so what?

Parents are sometimes selfish. They're still humans. Mungkin kalo gue dihadapkan dalam situasi yang didesak, gue akan bilang sama mereka untuk memposisikan mereka di gue. Apa kata dan makna cinta segitu dikorupsinya sampai sudah terlalu dibatasi dalam batasan yang dibuat manusia sendiri? Bukankah kita sendiri yang berteriak bahwa cinta itu sejajar dengan Tuhan?

Mungkin beberapa ketidakpercayaan atas agama datang dari pengalaman seperti ini. Dan manusia tetap menunjuk mereka yang melihat agama secara sinis, sebagai manusia jahat. Dan lagi-lagi gue ketawa. Plis deh. Memangnya kamu pikir manusia yang paling tinggi dan bermoral adalah manusia dengan kata 'Tuhan' di dahinya? Bukan. Mereka yang tidak ber-Tuhan terkadang memiliki moralitas yang justru lebih tinggi. Bukankan Tuhan minta kita cintai mereka dengan sederhana dan bukan berlebihan? Tidak mengatasnamakan-Nya untuk meniadakan manusia yang lain.

Bukankah segalanya yang berlebihan mengarah pada sebuah catastrophe?

I do appreciate everyone rights to decide what kind of life they want to live and who they want to live it with. But isn't the art of life was because it full with so much surprises? Do you even ever get the first notice that this is the one that will stay everlasting? I'll take that as a 'No'.

I was born from a family with different faith. I've always seen love that simple, but when I practice it in real life - people can't get the grip of it. Some of them take it for granted. People are so tiring; they make things so simple become so complicated. Can it be called an act of labeling?

Family from my Dad's side was coming from the other side of this world, where people doesn't judge you from what age you are and what religion you are. I dream a day when this country will finally live a good life. When people can love each other without getting depressed just because in fact, they're born different. Isn't everyone different?

You were not being asked about what name you want, what religion fits - when you were born. As you walk the years, you'll find how different you are right now with you were a few years back then. If you finally found someone that can you recall as home, will you just throw it away because your old ones deceive you?

Pada akhirnya semua akan kembali pada apa yang kamu percaya dan tidak percayai. Apa yang kamu pilih dan tidak kamu pilih. Terkadang manusia kira mencintai harus begitu mudah seperti sebuah hari yang cerah di jalan tol yang sepi. Nyatanya, semua akan sampai pada titik yang meminta sebuah pengorbanan - dengan kata lain, sebuah kompromi.

Kompromi yang suka disalahartikan sebagai kalah.

Padahal apalah artinya sebuah kompromi yang menjanjikan sebuah kenyamanan dan kebahagiaan atas sebuah cinta yang dijaga? Kalau memang keseragaman itu bisa dipertahankan, bukankah indah adanya? Bahkan terkadang kamu bisa tiba di satu titik dimana kamu merasa menanggung nama yang salah atau iman yang bukan pada tempatnya. Pertanyaannya, apakah kamu membiarkan tanya itu hidup atau kamu mengingkarinya dan membiarkannya mati.

Mahatma Gandhi bilang, "God has no religion."
Memang agama itu dibuat manusia kan? Untuk membuat satu sama lain tetap ada dalam satu lingkar superioritas dan diakui keberadaannya - kata mereka yang skeptis. Untuk mencari Tuhan melalu berbagai pintu yang tidak tentu sesuai dengan manusia yang mana - kata mereka yang beragama.

"I love you when you bow in your mosque, kneel in your temple, pray in your church. For you and I are sons of one religion, and it is the spirit." - Kahlil Gibran

Terrified feelings.

Badai kekuatiran yang melebur dalam jiwa yang kaku
Rapuh dan rengkuh
Seandainya jemari yang menuliskan takdir
Dan maka manusia hidup dalam keseandaian mereka
Adakah aku benar di mana aku berdiri
Adakah hujan kemarin itu bukan pertanda
Bawa pergi bawa jauh
Dusta dan ingkar
Bilamana ia menjanjikan dongeng sebelum tidur
Mana bisa kita bicara siapa bisa dan tak bisa
Bilamana Tuhan di atasnya
Mana bisa
Bukan kamu

Nasionalisme?

Do you think Indonesia is ready for Democracy? In his speech at Universitas Indonesia, Jakarta, few days ago - Barack Obama said between his line that, "Democracy is messy." Yes, in fact I have to be agree with him. But then again, how much mess it can be handled? That's the big question, right?

Mari berbahasa Indonesia.
Sekarang sebenarnya apa yang salah, sistem? Hukum? Mau sampai kapan sistem dan hukum disalahkan. Pelaku - subjek dan objek paling labil dan dinamis kan manusia. Jadi, manusianya? Atau sejarahnya? Saya pernah membaca dua macam wacana nasionalisme. Satu dengan bentuk yang simpel, "Nasional.is.me - Pandji" dan "Nasionalisme Indonesia Kini dan di Masa Depan - Benedict Anderson". Frankly speaking, membaca milik Pandji nggak membawa kesadaran baru atau membentuk rasa nasionalisme yang makin dalam untuk saya pribadi. Sungguh berbeda saat membaca milik Benedict Anderson yang harus diakui memang kontennya lebih berat dengan segala latar belakang sejarahnya (yang mana kayanya bisa orang Indonesia pun nggak tahu sejarahnya sendiri).

Here's the big three question.

Kenapa sih justru di saat dunia sedang 'wah' dengan segala ke-global-an dan globalisasinya yang dipublikasikan di tiap wacana, justru pola pikir masyarakat kita makin mundur (tadisional/konvensional)?

Pertanyaan yang muncul setiap kali membahas politik di kepala saya adalah, siapa sih yang sebenarnya mereka sebut mayoritas? Dan bagaimana, kenapa si 'mayoritas' ini cenderung membuat yang seharusnya dalam term relatif tercampur menjadi term yang absolut? Dalam hal ini, tentu tidak lain dan tidak bukan, agama dan politik.

Tidak bisa kita hindari bahwa adat adalah pola yang paling mendasar dalam masyarakat kita. Adat yang sangat kental ini tidak pernah ditinggalkan untuk hidup dalam sebuah negara kesatuan Republik Indonesia. Apabila kita kembali menilik sejarah, apa yang sebenarnya terjadi kira-kira dalam transisi pergerakan masyarakat dari kedaerahan menjadi kebangsaan? Apa yang terjadi, kesadaran darimana yang sebenarnya menyatukan mereka dalam pemahaman akan negara dan bangsa Indonesia?

(to be continue...)

I dreamed a dream

Have you ever dream?

Instead of midnight dreaming with too much imagination, I’m having my favorite dream when I’m sitting by the window inside the car, watching the road outside. The plain blue sky with dots of clouds, trees hiding the houses from the highway.. A good friend of mine told me it’s called acacia tree, like the one they have in Africa. It’s my favorite tree. The trunk is big and it’s like telling you “I’m a tough one”, while the branches are multiplying in sizes and the leaves is rare, but you know what people say, “the toughest tree comes from the land of Africa.”

Mom and Dad, have always told me to dream since I was five. Or maybe further than that. Started with a dream of riding two wheels bike and now ended up with my biggest dream as a college student, studying in Harvard University. People probably will laugh or widen their eyes when hear me saying this. You know, I’m not too sure myself about how much chances I’ve got. But I know I’m not having this dream by myself, I know some and we’ve shared the same vision. Trying to be more realistic, maybe it doesn’t have to be Harvard. At least the top five best University inside the globe.

Don’t you think being realistic is sometimes giving up on your dream?
The question now is, which dream?

Quoting a friend of mine, she wrote this once and the line just slap me in the face. Maybe it’s everybody’s question, how should I know? All I know, I’ve been living six months inside this question. I hope the feeling that I’ve known the answer is wrong because frankly speaking, I hate the answer.

“Biggest battle you’ll ever fight – between what you want and what you know is right, between what the heart wants and the mind already knows.”

God I must’ve thanked her for the quote, for haunting my night and days until I don’t know when. Simply undecideable (do they even have the word in dictionary?) - sigh. Where should I start this? Seems like I'm walking inside the vicious circle and stop at a dead-end. That was nowhere near the reason to quit. I periodically talk to a good friend about life and the philosophy, and he told me that it’s okay that I keep questing things that happen within me and outside of me. It’s good. Because you’ll never feel satisfied, but much better to do to keep running and doing the best for myself. Myself, should I bold the word right away?

“Live a good life.” – My Grandpa.

He’s the best inspiration but still he can’t guide me to my answers, no one could. No one will ever know what or where the answer is. What rights they own anyway?

I am 18. Repeat, just 18 by now. I always write “18 and 3B’s” on my personal description, thanks to my Mom. She have always told me to but have the brain behavior and the beauty inside one soul. That way I’ll survive in this world. She even put the beauty at the last part, because with the technology – tell me, who can’t be pretty these day? It’s just the best beauty comes within the heart, without no hard work of pretending too much.

I’m blabbing. Let’s start over, shall we?

Here I am right now, living my pretty little live in Bandung as a freshman in Parahyangan Catholic University in International Relations. I never picture myself standing here, right now. To be honest, I’ve never pictured myself anywhere in this country. I just don’t know where. But after I live this for a few months, I know God’s been guiding me to take my best decision. Maybe I don’t feel satisfied about everything, but I know here I can find the people the society that can help me achieve the top part of my highest dream. For some people I may seem greedy or anything, but who cares? People will never stop be jealous of you because they have what I don’t have and I have what they don’t have. I’ve been there and it’ll be such a pathetic exhausting waste of time. Wow, that’s a lot of words. I just do what I think was right and taking chances is never a mistake, as long as choose the chances carefully and date them seriously.

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the less travelled by, and that has made all the difference.” – Robert Frost

I used to picture myself as a psychologist, yes that was my one and only dream since I was the freshman in junior high school. Somehow I joined this and that and at the 2nd grade of high school, I want to work for the United Nations. Motivation? Simple. I’m tired of seeing people acting like animals, trying to erase the existence of the others. I want to save a life, but not as a doctor. I don’t have the call. I even tried to call myself, but I just don’t get it.

So then I stand between the IR and psychology. Which is right? Which is better? What kind of question is that? Isn’t it supposed to be, where your heart is?

Getting into college was not that hard to me, the tough part is to get the grip of it. The hardest part is choosing one instead of taking everything, to stand on your own feet and not hanging in anybody’s arms – well this part is not that hard to me. But sometimes you’ll find yourself kind of lonely in a way, even when you stand in the crowds. And again, I end up telling myself that’s not a problem, because the basic point I’ve always started my life with everyday is, “ At the end of the day, you’re on your own.”

I want to be graduated from Harvard. I want to live in London. I want to spend most of the summer in Italy. I want to work for the United Nations. I want to be a performer at the same time, a singer or a dance, at a small theatre nearby. I want to write a book, one day. I want to be married in a cathedral, in Vera Wang’s wedding dress. I want to have four kids, and I already named the three of them. And how I wish I will have son with blond hair – you know what I mean. I know what kind of house I’ll build and in addition, next to it I’ll have my own little bakery shop. I want to save a life.

Sounds like a dreamer enough to you, no?

Sometimes it’s tiring living this much of dream. I really dream them, you see I have them in details! Mom’s right – I am blessed, with gifts of talent. But sometimes you just don’t know which one you have to live with and which one you have to leave out. Why do you have to give up your talents anyway? There is lots of paradox in life. You can’t do things half way, otherwise it all will be messed up. Sigh.

I never thought growing up will be this fast. I miss being a 12-years-old. After your first love and things in romance keep going, do you think a relationship is a part of your dream, or it is not? Don’t answer. My biggest fear is that I forget to count in a relationship, a love story between my dreams because I’m busy loving them and that they have given me enough pleasure.

You don’t plan yourself to be in love. At least, I never did. All I know is the love itself never goes away. Who said that breaking up means you don’t love each other anymore? It’s just that you both no longer standing at the same direction. And here comes the paradox… I believe that true love comes with a pure heart - does exist in this part of life. I know that love doesn’t answer everything, besides the double C in basic relationship are commitment and compromise. But who’s willing to compromise with their dreams? Wrong. The question is how much you want to sacrifice your dreams? When do you know where to keep it up or put it down? We’re young. Don’t you have to create your own life first before you’re creating such a combination - complex combination? Here comes the other double-C. It’s just love doesn’t only speaks for the sight of two people in a relationship, but also how you can achieve those calls upon yourself.

What’s the use of having someone, but tired because you have to give up everything?

I live the days the best I can, and for those I love the most but sometimes listen to my heart is such a hurtful act to do; sometimes it whispers the fact I don’t want to deal with. In a relationship people seek for comfortable, for stability outside this world that could destroy them any minute. The continuity of it create something what I called attachment. How and when should it last? No theory can answer. That’s probably why they say you’ll end up marrying your best friend. Best friends are people who give you home everywhere you go, in their words and hugs.

Mom said, you can have your dream but keep your feet on the ground. God I hope she has this guide book to tell me which way to go. Well, she doesn’t. What if when I’m making the list of my dreams and he’s just not into the most of it? What if, we finally don’t share the same dream?

Man I think too much I can kill myself just now. I know I’m just 18 and maybe you’ll say “Come on, enjoy life!” Well, I say, easy for you to say. I just can close my eyes and walk through the bridge without knowing where the hell am I going. Or maybe I know the answer already, but I just too scared to walk out of it?

So which one, love or dreams? A little girl inside me will say, “Can’t I get both?”. But the young lady will whisper me the words, “…dream. Dream big.”

I need my beauty sleep, otherwise I'll throw up any minute.
God bless.

It's me being synical, not sceptical

Later today, I went to this NGO Fair at Fakultas FISIP Universitas Indonesia (Depok). You know what NGO stands for, rite? Well in case you're still try to figure it put in your head, I'll let you know. NGO is the Non-Governmental Organization. This NGO Fair was specifically held by HI UI.

I don't walk to talk about the Fair, because to be honest I was rather dissapointed. As usual, too much expectations without knowing the warfare. Anyway, untung saja begitu datang dikasih selebaran, well some sort of catalogue to be exact. I love the catalogue more...

I'm not going to talk about this NGO Fair. I'm about to talk out loud about my opinion, my own opinion without any following data. This come from a conversation with one friend of mine when we dicussed about some issue.

First of all is the most happening issue and it's been the headlines for a while. The news also caught up by Times and E! Entertainment News. Proud? Not even close. Guess what? Ariel-Luna Maya-Cut Tari. Well, later today I opened msn.id and guess what? The headline sounded like this, "The police found another 30 videos" next to Ariel's close up photo. Surprise, surprise! - not. I mean since the very beginning of its emergence, lots of discussiopn forum talked about these another 30 videos. Sorry policemen, you're too late. Names were rising from Luna Maya, Cut Tari, Dian Sastrowardoyo, Bunga Citra Lestari, etc. Dian Sastrowardoyo, can you believe it? I always see her as a role model among the Indonesian actresses. When I told my dad about this, all he said was "She's Dian Sastro right? Not an Angel." He's got his point. I am sick. Everytime I turn on the Indonesian tv, all the channels are broadcasting about this video. Or another rising gossip among the housewives or "ibu-ibu rt" is Anang-Krisdayanti-Raul-Syahrini-Atta. You know, I still don't get the idea why in the world this people want to spoil their personal, I mean very personal life, on the tv screen. They present their marriage life like some sort of soap opera! Even much more entertaining.... to be mock at. Pardon my language, but if these are the kind of show which are being offered to the children.. how pathetic. When will this nation's mentality grow? Just, tell me. I rarely, very rare, watch Indonesian tv nowadays. Sinetron and the entertainment gossip are very insulting my intelligence. All I saw was tears, getting hurt, revenge, and being tortured. Being a good person means you will be kissing others foot and these people screw the real meaning of religion and love.

Everything in this country is being exaggerated. Mana Bhinneka Tunggal Ika? Mana Bersatu Kita Teguh, Bercerai Kita Runtuh? Teori. Teori itu semua teori. The entertainment bussiness could be so much cruel than the political bussiness. Why? Because the entertainment bussiness 'touch' the society's moral values. In Indonesia, such things like moral and religion are very fragile to be discussed. People put religion upon everything. These people are not everyone, I was talking about such people who're representing their organizations like FPI, etc. What's the use for them to banned the people to dress without sleeves? Or to decide which one is illegitimate and not? Tell me, who are they? Gods? No, they're humans. They don't even own any more priveledges compare to any other human.

"Religion has killed more people than heroin has ever did." (Najwa Shihab)

And I just can't agree more. Krisdayanti and Raul kissed each other in public. For the next two weeks, all of the tv shows (as in entertainment gossip channel) are going to talk about it. Then people from Yayasan Perlindungan Anak and blablabla will talk about how it has disturbed the education for children. People are so easy lured with such moral issues. Well different family can has different point of moral values..and here we are standing among the 200 mill people, we will never be finished talking about this morality thing. It's way too complicated to connect the law with this moral issue. After they kissed, people talked about they shoul had arrested and jailed for 2 years. For a kiss? Now tell me, why does Bakrie still can sit on his lazy chair in his castle and enjoy an afternoon tea? Corruption is not a moral issue? Well I say, people who have ever done the corruption upon the nation's money is much more worse than a murder. They have made this country hide in its desperation, people lives in their suffer.

Who has less morality now?

Anang Krisdayanti Raul Atta Syahrini. Blah. I find everybody's wrong. Krisdayanti acted like such a bitch, fine, what did Anang do? After he announced their separation, in no time he has found Syahrini. And yet he just dated her and act as if they'd get married soon ever since. Pity. Because all I see is a little boy who's trying to take a revenge over his lover. He has just got divorced and despite taking care of his broken-hearted children, he dated another girl in no time? Well, people have different consideration tho, I don't have the rights to talk anyway. Just can't believe how come they sell their life to the public? KD cheated on his husband, take this guy from his family...and she felt unbelieveably un-guilty? ......Amen.

Porn video is not a new thing. Internet provides all the porn you need, isn't that what they say? It's like our country has cleaned for years about porn. Ah, c'mon. They only thing that matters is they're the public figures. On the top of the staircase to popularity. I'm not saying they're unguilty, but please don't treat them as if you're a saint. Suit them for what they break in Indonesian law, but it's not like they're planning to spread it off at the first place.

Ah, Indonesia..

Now talking about one of the global issue. Climate change. Poverty. Do you think the poverty will ever ends? I'm not being pessimistic, but I don't think so. It's like an opposite theory on earth that has to life together for one balance. Good and bad. Right and wrong. Rich and poor. Life and death.

"Starvation is a great aphrodisiac."

People are easier to control under the pressure, especially when it comes to economic pressure these days. Money holds a very important place, we can't say no to that. At least at the top three of your priority, especially when you've a family of your own. I was reading the MDG's and although they mentioned their success on decreasing the percentage of the world's poverty, I still seeing my people starving. Crawling for a penny or two. Where's my government? A new land in Jakarta is being opened every single day. Hospital between the residence? Limbahnya mau dikemanain? What about AMDAL? I couldn't even imagine the complexity to deal with 200 mill people, separated through the land and sea, with all it's difference - the basic difference, culture. Living under the standard of living, means living without insurance. Right? This's what's going on in our country. As long the people are starving, people are not getting the proper education to compete even with the people in their country..they'll be so easy to be provocated. Remember how was this country in '65?

I hate the fact that SBY made songs. Tell me, it made me quite furious. What the hell was he doing? Leave the song to the others, will you? There're so many artist in this country, let's say Trisum, they could make a great quality songs. Not saying that a president can't make his own songs, but please dear Sir, your country needs to eat, not to listen to some songs that'll built the nasionalism. The nationalism will grow itself as the people have their faith on their government! And am not talking about the middle class, I'm talking about the underground class.

People in Indonesia, the youths, including me of course, we are starting to provoke people in this country about the nationalism. But tell me again, can you built a self confidence thru the talking? Without the person tries himself or see the fact of some confidence? Mostly not. And that's exactly what's happening with built in the nationalism to the Indonesian. Even the educated people find it hard to trust the country, the government, THE SYSTEM.

I'm not going to just underestimate my Indonesia. To be frank, such issues as corruption and mafia of law happen in every country. But this country provide very little amount of wealth insurance to its own people. The moderate class people walking inside the malls, the upper class people hiding behind the wall of their malls, and the under class people doesn't even have the guts to go inside the malls. It'll make them some sort of spectacle.

And it's us. Who call them, "kampungan", "norak", "alay". Think again. We're labelling them. We even build a wall to each other, like if we ever touch them we'll be suffered by a disease.

I know these human rights issues are very dillematique. But if we just keep thinking that way, well people just forget any happy ending.

Climate change. I'm sick reading the news about how people such exaggerate this issue, well 'better', they even make this issue to be such a potential bussiness to be ran. Impressive, right? Green paper bag, green plastic bag, green community, all-new-green residence, bla bla bla... guess what, each house costs a billion. I thought God was giving us the green nature for free. Aren't you ashame? Well the least government can do is pull all the plastic bag in the supermarkets and told them to exchange the plastic bag with the paper bag. Done, end of story. Well, maybe it's not as easy as it said, but then again government has more authorization to do so. Not the bussinessmen.

"Climate Change Conference" - I've been bored reading the titled on the newspapers. Big time companies and all presidents from all over the world. They're welcome with the world class service, the price is definitely to infinity and beyond, yet remind me please were there any meaningful agreement between them? No. They're not talking about the nature rereservation, they're talking about themselves! Their bussiness, their gain and loss.. I wish someone send them back to when they were 8. Because back then, all you want to be is someone... good.

The green revolution was the turning point of everything. It's the start of revolution industy to the nature and it's a time machine bomb. Then again, who could have guessed? People weren't that aware of such environmental issues like these days, the technology weren't that well.

You know what the funny part is? Today's people..we're trying so hard to get back to the nature. While actually, there's nothing wrong with the nature. The nature will always be balanced, it's not trying to ruining itself - it's just trying to keep the ecosystem as balanced as it was. We've warned with all the worst thing that could possibly happen to the nature, nobody cares. Wrong, some does care. But we always need a government to make it something big, to take a real action. Well, where's our government? They're busy trying to manipulating the amount of currency so it looks like we're close to the big republic such as USA.

Some educated people even dumber than the kindegardens. Close to my place, they're building two new hospitals. Two. Okay, I know it's a public facility but where are you going to throw the waste? They're two big hospitals and standing in the middle of the community residence. Fancy residence? Not close. Just some old village you won't notice. See? And these people, they don't even aware of what's threatening them.

This is the problem in the developing country. But if everytime we talk about this country we ended up in that line, kapan kita mau maju? Everything needs a first move. And it takes the courage of some big names. It takes an idealism. Idealism is not a lasagna, you shouldn't eat it and throw it away to the junk. It's you.

I sounded like a freak, am I? Like wanting to be a superman, saving the world while I'm standing by myself. But seeing those things are breaking my heart. We're humans and we're the one who has less heart in the human rights issues. We sell others, we make the woman an object! Those FPI guys, even the MUI, everyday mereka sibuk bikin fatwa haram yang baru. Mereka sibuk permasalahkan siapa berhubungan seksual dengan siapa dan siapa mencium siapa. Who are you, God? How many wifes do you got? They act as if they're saint and they don't even carry a name that suitable for a saint. I'm being harsh, wtv. But I bet you won't be offended if you're doing any of those.

It's... pathetic.
People, what kind of world do you want?

Diet, Diet, Diet!

Oke, I'm officially depressed by now. I was woking up at eleven, I've never been waking up at evelen for 18 years! Well, since the World Cup Final is early this very morning.... I got to bed at five.

Anyway, since this holiday has started I've been wanting to improve my health. My family is a big fan of foods. Thank God I don't look like one of them in the Biggest Loser tv show today. The problem is... saya sangat suka makanan manis dan ngemil. Food is one of my mood booster. Especially during the very-stressfull week! Like the exams. But as long as I keep walking, it can lose my appetite in a zip. Giliran duduk manis, mulutnya gak tahan gak ngunyah. Food is a guilty pleasure, you gotta admit that. I prefer those European American foods (bikin makin parah aja deh). I mean I prefer Fetucinni to Soto Ayam. That's the simplest example.

So, inspired by Sherina and Dewi Lestari, I was planning to be a veggie, have a detox. Guess what? Gagal. Total. -____________-

Even the holiday is almost over! Groooaarrr *grauk-grauk tanah*
My mom and dad didn't agree if I do a detox diet. I know, I know... I mean the doctors themselves are saying that detox diet is not necessary to be done. Your body can naturally do the natural detox for your body. But if you want to, it's okay to do it every once or twice in a year. Not more.

I was planning to do the detox diet after I get to Bandung. But after I checked the rules, sepertinya saya bisa mati kelaparan kalo begitu caranya sambil kuliah. So I thought better to do the detox thing every once a month at a weekend. How's that sound?

One thing clear, gw bawa blender ke kostan. Nyeh.

After I finished googling about the detox diet thing, gw beralih ke diet golongan darah. I start to sound very obsessed with this diet thingy huh? Hahaha, I've been too fat these days, too many fat in my body. Holiday virus, I know. I used to dance twice a week, do a basketball, and self exercise at home. Now what's left is the self exercise and swimming! Hahaha for God sake, finally I can swim!

A friend of mine had done this apple diet. Just eat apples. Menurut gw gak sehat. And to be honest, gw mau menurunkan berat badan bukan mau mati kelaparan. Please. I want to be slim and healthy at the same time. And I know you gotta work an excercise with your body, kalo gak mah kurusnya gak kenceng (dibahas).

So here's the diet untuk golongan darah golongan A:

Diet untuk golongan darah A yang dianjurkan adalah makanan tinggi karbohidrat dan rendah lemak.

Makanan yang sangat bermanfaat: bayam, brokoli, wortel, jamur ikan mas, kacang tanah, kacang buncis, kacang/susu kedelai, tahu, tempe, tepung beras, blueberry, minyak zaitun, ikan mas, ikan sardine.

Makanan yang netral: ikan tuna, telur ayam&bebek, telur puyuh, minyak wijen, biji bunga matahari, kacang ercis/kapri, jagung, tapioca, roti gandum, labu, bawang merah, mentimun, talas, anggur, melon, blewah, pir, delima, kurma, stroberi, kesemek, jambu biji, daging ayam.

Makanan yang dihindari: daging (sapi, bebek, kelinci, ayam hutan, lobster, gurita, kepiting, belut, kodok, udang, cumi), mentega, susu sapi, keju, es krim, susu murni, acar, terong, tomat, ubi, kentang, jeruk, kelapa/santan, melon, madu, pisang (raja), pepaya, pare, air soda.

Olahraga yang cocok dilakukan: yoga, tai chi, meditasi

My next question, apakah sebaiknya gw berubah bentuk jadi kambing saja? Sigh.

Read the 'makanan-yang-dihindari' part. It's killing me! Coconut? Es kelapa muda is my favorit in the whole world. Meat! Honey! Potato! CHEESE! I hardly imagine I'm living without cheese. Pizza is heaven and you cannot eat pizza without the double times twist cheese. Mozarella has made to be eat! Crab! Ergh.

Even my recently done sports, tennis and swimming works better untuk golongan darah B. Well, I don't buy that part. I simply think that you can do any sport you want! But I know yoga is very interesting. Maybe I'll take the class.

So, will I do this diet?
I'll let you know.

At the end, you're on your own.

Disneyland, you'll never too old.

I finally come to the day when I feel the true definition of holiday. Since I was little, my dad sort of give me a sign that holiday means going somewhere you love, quite away from home for a while. To see a new world you've never seen before. Or if you have, it's definitely your favourite ones.

A time off.

Like every other children in the world, I grow up very fond of Disney. Who doesn't?

I know I'm 18 by now, but after you spend the whole day in the Disneyland, you'll understand how magical it is. That magical sparks that Tinkerbell has, it isn't just a fairytale, it's surrounding the Fantasy Land (Fantasy Park, I should say).

Disneyland Hong Kong wasn't as big as the one in the U.S. Never been to both of them before, but the first flower in July show me one in Hong Kong. Don't ask about how croded it was, it was worst than traffic in Jakarta. But the funny thing is, you still get much of the excitement.

What they did in the Disneyland, were just.. amazing. Wow, terrific.
After my 100th steps, I kinda remembered about Ancol. Ngek. Kebanting abis mending gak usah dipikir deh kalo gitu. But I love to have one of this kind back home.

Main Street USA.
Fantasy Land.
Adventure.

The Main Street USA looked a lot like the real one and I simply deeply love it! There was this one bakery, and the food was utterly delicious! I can live there you know. And I fell in love with one ceramics-made in the Crystal Arts corner, it's the seven dwarfs walking on a log. Here's a picture...



Thanks God it's Saturday! Special events always showing on the weekends.
When we had the walked-in by the gate, some of the orchestra band welcomed us to the Fantasy Land. They're good I ain't kididng. Some characters showed up themselves, paling tenar ya si Mickey Minnie. Padahal, gua sendiri gak pernah terlalu suka sama mereka loh. Somehow. But I mean, Mickey's the original Disney's icon.

They made a replica of Tarzan's forest.
The main attractions, such as Opera House in 3D yang bikin gw bengong pengen teriak 'We want more, we want more' sama Masnya trus the Golden Mickey yang for the record super rapi dan mengalahkan semua pentas musical theatre yang pernah gw lihat seumur hidup (I watched it for free bahkan). Jangan senang dulu, my favorite one adalah Festival of the Lion King! I love love love Lion King since I was bocah cuma jalan sana-sini pake baju monyet rambut pendek dan masih punya tindikan di telinga. Lucu banget tentunya hahaha kidding.

The song. The cast. They're crazy, they're THE professionals.
You just have to go there and watch it. Like I wanted to keep it all in one music box and hit the replay button everytime I want, everytime I go to bed. Most of the cast are African, jadi udah kebayang kan kualitas suara orang hitam gimana? Well, you got it. They dance like only ballerina can dance.

Okay gw tetep gak berani naik roller coaster. Gimana ya naik kora-kora aja pengen muntah nangis takut ngeri pengen pingsan, gimana roller coaster. Dan Papa dengan polosnya bilang, " Ayolah cuma 5 menit kok!" krik-krik eh cepet banget ya lima menit mah gw terbang kali hahaha salah banget perumpamaannya malah bikin makin gak mau.

We watched some of the parades.
The Rain Parade and The Summer Parade. The air just make you never stop smiling.

One thing that hit my brain like crazy was the closing of the Disneyland. They presented the fireworks, 'Disney in the Stars'. I imagined it'll be short-period, like those they have in the movies.

Dan ternyata...
a half an hour. And it was not just a fireworks show. It was the definition of magical. The fireworks were like dancing in the sky! One by one in an amazing rythme. The songs the fireworks the sky, together they combined the true definition of georgeus above the Disney's castle. The castle keep changing colour and showing pictures as the songs echoed inside the Park.

What a night, what a day.
If you looked around while you're in the Disneyland, everyone's back at the age eight or ten. The adults, the 65-ers. No age limits to living your dream in Disneyland. It brings back, realive a child inside of you. And I watched some of the old couples walking around together, it's just too sweet you know :)

So here are my very favorite Disney characters:
Donald Duck.
Ariel the Mermaid.
Simba of the Lion King.

You know, during my staying I was reading this book called 'the Five People You Meet in Heaven' by Mitch Albom. Funny. When I read it, ada satu line yang sangat persis dengan yang gw dapet di Disneyland.

There's a little guy inside every man.

In the other hand, a little girl is very close to dreams. Fantasy. I think you can be mature enough if you accept the existance of that little guy/girl inside yourself. The little girl is to make sure you have your dreams with you, whle the big girl is to make sure you're making the reasonable choices and keep the consistence with you to achieve your dreams. While walking, I was trying to remember all the path that i've chosen. I wasn't regreting any of them, what's the use anyway? But I know some of them haven't been my best decisions.

I gotta make a big one during my leave off to college. The sooner the better I guess. Inside the plane home, I wrote down every little dreams that I've ever had. And all I got to do is glue it to my forehead so every big D I'll make is to achieve it. Life and love can sometimes twist you in the brain and forget your own idealism.

Haha, and they say I think too much sometimes.

Republik Yogyakarta!

Oke. So I write this down, finally. Inspired by a friend of mind, si anak bahasa yang luar biasa bahasa secara personal (you don't know I think that way about you kan, Nis?) Anyway, check her newest blog at nistatanpakata.blogspot.com

This 4-days trip sounds like Sisterhood of Travelling Pants. Hanya saja bukannya celana jeans yg kita punya kembaran, melainkan sepotong kaos I <3 NY yang tak lain tak bukan oleh-oleh dari si Tante CCF (that's how gw menyebut mamanya Nisa). There were four of us, all girls. Gw, Angela, Nisa, dan Myrna. Bule-Tionghoa-Batak-Jawa, we mix it all so well, didn't we?

If you happen to read Nisa's blog before reading this (which's my best suggestion), you'll figured that we weren't that people who stumbled into each other for forever. My history a lil' bit different with Nisa. Me and Angela has been best friend for 5 years now, she's the best of the best. Sendirinya memang agak menimbulkan ketergantungan sih and I can't believe I'm going to be so far away dari si Putri Yunani satu ini in less than a month. Myrna. I knew her longer than everybody else. Sejak sd. Bedanya, we've never been that close before. Yang jelas kita satu SD, satu anter-jemput, satu anak basket, dan mungkin the sparkling moment between both of us adalah saat gw sama Muni harus memilih anggota OSIS untuk masuk seksi kesenian kita. Myrna looked very appropriate, that's the turning point when we got closer. Setiap sore gw habiskan melihat Myrna dan mencubit Myrna, haha. Dan Nisa. Seriously Nis, kita pernah kenalan secara proper gak sih? Hahaha. Yang jelas aku super ngefans sama mamamu Nis, like everybody knows why. Anyway, rasanya baru sebentar kenal deket sama dia and we just... clicked. Jangan bilang cuma gw yg berasa Nis, haha. But yea I feel an outmost comfortable while talking to her. Seperti yg mama gw bilang, she looks mature(rer). She is. Dia sumber segala kesabaran deh, benar-benar wanita Jogja yang baik :)

Anyway, it's a huge success that we've finally hit Yogyakarta! Setelah segala konfrontasi desertasi dan pembicaraan dibalik layar gw sama Nisa dan dengan yang lain, kita putuskan jugalah untuk mengunjungi kotanya Nisa. She'll be there for the rest of her life, dan hawanya memang PAS banget sama Nisa. I know she'll do great there.

So, should I go with details? Gw gak tau harus mulai darimana, dan yakin ini bakal curhat satu episode sinetron kalo dilanjutin.

The trip was fabulous. Setelah kereta terlambat tiga jam padahal semua semangat '45 ada di ujung tanduk, akhirnya kita duduk di kereta dan begitu dibagiin donut kita malah tambah seneng karena udah telat. Apalagi depan kita kosong (tadinya si Putri Yunani udah mau ngetag si donut tapi kalah sama bocah-bocah di belakang kita yang ribut dan lucunya minta ampun). Gw sama Nisa dengan suksesnya hampir gak tidur sama sekali sementara si Myrna-Myrni tidurnya luar biasa nyenyak! We touched down Yogya by nine o'clock tanpa ada minat nonton bola lagi dan disambut di rumah Eyangnya Nisa yg really reminds me sama rumah Oma back in Surabaya. Next day, Nisa ke UGM dan dengan modal kaki gw, Myrna, Angela keliling dari Malioboro sampai Keraton sampai kita gak sanggup jalan dan bertiga naik becak dengan posisi gw dipangku. Sangat eye catchy. Ngek. That night kita makan gudeg trus nonton bola (tetep). Besoknya adalah perjalanan paling panjang. Hasrat gw sama Myrna yang demi Tuhan craving mau liat pantai akhirnya terkabul, Pantai Sepanjang. Reminds me a lot tentang Lombok. Mulai dari jalan menuju pantai sampai akhirnya kita lihat sendiri itu lautan luas! "Ah, SURGA."

Pak Harjo serius beneran mirip banget sama Pak Nalih loh Nis. Ternyata Nisa sangat picky dalam memilih supirnya, mukanya aja harus mirip. Hahaha. Hari terakhir kita kembali hit Malioboro dan Rumah Makan Ramintjen. Cie Ramintjen. Yang jelas kita bengong semua liat Masnya bentuknya sebelas-dua belas sama Dorce. Trus temen gw bilang itu syarat kerja disana. Hah, yang bener aja. Anyway we met a friend of mine di Yogya, accidentaly on purpose to be exact. Trus si pria-Jogja-baik-hati ini bawa kita ke Masangin. Quite a way to spend an afternoon.

So anyway, four days were too fast. I really learn a lot during the trip. Learn how to be a good friend and to appreciate a friendship like your own life. Dan maaf ya gw tau ada satu malem I was super freaking tired trus jadi kemana-mana aja gw diem dan nurut, di otak gw - pengen duduk. And yet, terima kasih loh hari terakhir mau menerima temen gw dengan sangat baik. It's beyond our usual thing to meet someone out of the blue.

BALI, BALI, BALI, BALI.
Sakit hati dengernya haha. Anyway, our next trip is gonna be Bali kan, mewujudkan cita yang tertunda. Be good you guys. I love you, at most.

Distance can't do us apart

Hello, 18!

Thanks for being with me girls and thanks for the birthday surprise dut. Love it at most :)

Hail, Cleopatra!

One thing I learn from Cleo is, "A woman needs a character, not just a pretty face."

Thousands of years, people all over the world glamorize the beauty and elegance of an Egypt woman, ruler - named Cleopatra. Just like Cassanova that still be talked about these days. Cleopatra famous for her remarkable beauty, flawless. Was just that it?

"Cleopatra VII Philopator (Late 69 BC – August 12, 30 BC) was the last person to rule Egypt as an Egyptian pharaoh – after she died, Egypt became a Roman province.

Ptolemy XII died in March 51 BC, thus by his will making the 18-year-old Cleopatra and her brother, the 12-year-old Ptolemy XIII joint monarchs. The first three years of their reign were difficult, due to economic difficulties, famine, deficient floods of the Nile, and political conflicts. Although Cleopatra was married to her young brother, she quickly made it clear that she had no intention of sharing power with him.

In August 51 BC, relations between Cleopatra and Ptolemy completely broke down. Cleopatra dropped Ptolemy's name from official documents and her face appeared alone on coins, which went against Ptolemaic tradition of female rulers being subordinate to male co-rulers. In 50 BC Cleopatra came into a serious conflict with the Gabiniani, powerful Roman troops of Aulus Gabinius who had left them in Egypt to protect Ptolemy XII after his restoration to the throne in 55 BC. This conflict was one of the main causes for Cleopatra's soon following loss of power.

The sole reign of Cleopatra was finally ended by a cabal of courtiers, led by the eunuch Pothinus, removing Cleopatra from power and making Ptolemy sole ruler in circa 48 BC (or possibly earlier, as a decree exists from 51 BC with Ptolemy's name alone). She tried to raise a rebellion around Pelusium, but she was soon forced to flee with her only remaining sister, Arsinoë.

While Cleopatra was in exile, Pompey became embroiled in the Roman civil war. In the autumn of 48 BC, Pompey fled from the forces of Caesar to Alexandria, seeking sanctuary. Ptolemy, only fifteen years old at that time, had set up a throne for himself on the harbour, from where he watched as on September 28, 48 BC, Pompey was murdered by one of his former officers, now in Ptolemaic service. He was beheaded in front of his wife and children, who were on the ship from which he had just disembarked. Ptolemy is thought to have ordered the death to ingratiate himself with Caesar, thus becoming an ally of Rome, to which Egypt was in debt at the time, though this act proved a miscalculation on Ptolemy's part. When Caesar arrived in Egypt two days later, Ptolemy presented him with Pompey's severed head; Caesar was enraged. Although he was Caesar's political enemy, Pompey was a Consul of Rome and the widower of Caesar's only legitimate daughter, Julia (who died in childbirth with their son). Caesar seized the Egyptian capital and imposed himself as arbiter between the rival claims of Ptolemy and Cleopatra.

Eager to take advantage of Julius Caesar's anger toward Ptolemy, Cleopatra had herself smuggled secretly into the palace to meet with Caesar. One legend claims she entered past Ptolemy’s guards rolled up in a carpet. She became Caesar’s mistress, and nine months after their first meeting, in 47 BC, Cleopatra gave birth to their son, Ptolemy Caesar, nicknamed Caesarion, which means "little Caesar".

At this point Caesar abandoned his plans to annex Egypt, instead backing Cleopatra's claim to the throne. After a war lasting six months between the party of Ptolemy XIII and the Roman army of Caesar, Ptolemy XIII was drowned in the Nile and Caesar restored Cleopatra to her throne, with another younger brother Ptolemy XIV as her new co-ruler.

Cleopatra VII and her son Caesarion at the Temple of DenderaAlthough Cleopatra was 21 years old when they met and Caesar was 52, they became lovers during Caesar’s stay in Egypt between 48 BC and 47 BC. Cleopatra claimed Caesar was the father of her son and wished him to name the boy his heir, but Caesar refused, choosing his grandnephew Octavian instead. During this relationship, it is also rumored that Cleopatra introduced Caesar to her astronomer Sosigenes of Alexandria, who first proposed the idea of leap day and leap years.

Cleopatra, Ptolemy XIV and Caesarion visited Rome in summer 46 BC, where the Egyptian Queen resided in one of Caesar's country houses. The relationship between Cleopatra and Caesar was obvious to the Roman people and it was a scandal, because the Roman dictator was already married to Calpurnia Pisonis. But Caesar even erected a golden statue of Cleopatra represented as Isis in the temple of Venus Genetrix (the mythical ancestress of Caesar's family), which was situated at the Forum Julium. The Roman orator Cicero said in his preserved letters that he hated the foreign Queen. Cleopatra and her entourage were in Rome when Caesar was assassinated on 15 March, 44 BC. She returned with her relatives to Egypt. When Ptolemy XIV died – allegedly poisoned by his older sister - Cleopatra made Caesarion her co-regent and successor and gave him the epithets Theos Philopator Philometor (= Father- and motherloving God)

In the following Roman civil war between the Caesarian party – led by Mark Antony and Octavian – and the party of the assassins of Caesar – led by Marcus Junius Brutus and Gaius Cassius Longinus – Cleopatra sided with the Caesarian party because of her past. Brutus and Cassius left Italy and sailed to the East of the Roman Empire, where they conquered large areas and established their military basis. At the beginning of 43 BC Cleopatra formed an alliance with the leader of the Caesarian party in the East, Publius Cornelius Dolabella, who recognized Caesarion as her co-ruler. But soon Dolabella was encircled in Laodicea and committed suicide (July 43 BC).

Now Cassius wanted to invade Egypt to seize the treasures of that country and to punish the Queen for her refusal of Cassius’ request to send him supplies and her support for Dolabella. Egypt seemed an easy booty because the land did not have strong land forces and there was famine and an epidemic. Cassius finally wanted to prevent that Cleopatra would bring a strong fleet as reinforcement for Antony and Octavian. But he could not execute the invasion of Egypt because at the end of 43 BC Brutus summoned him back to Smyrna. Cassius tried to blockade Cleopatra’s way to the Caesarians. For this purpose Lucius Statius Murcus moved with 60 ships and a legion of elite troops into position at Cape Matapan in the south of the Peloponnese. Nevertheless Cleopatra sailed with her fleet from Alexandria to the west along the Libyan coast to join the Caesarian leaders but her ships were damaged by a violent storm and she became ill, forcing her to return to Egypt. Murcus learned of the misfortune of the Queen and saw parts of her wrecked ships at the coast of Greece. He then sailed with his ships into the Adriatic Sea.

Antony and Cleopatra, by Lawrence Alma-TademaIn 41 BC, Mark Antony, one of the triumvirs who ruled Rome in the power vacuum following Caesar's death, summoned Cleopatra to meet him in Tarsus to answer questions about her loyalty. Cleopatra arrived in great state, and so charmed Antony that he chose to spend the winter of 41 BC–40 BC with her in Alexandria.

To safeguard herself and Caesarion, she had Antony order the death of her sister Arsinoe, who was living at the temple of Artemis in Ephesus, which was under Roman control. The execution was carried out in 41 BC on the steps of the temple, and this violation of temple sanctuary scandalised Rome. Cleopatra had also executed her strategos of Cyprus, Serapion, who had supported Cassius against her intentions.

On 25 December 40 BC, Cleopatra gave birth to twins fathered by Antony, Alexander Helios and Cleopatra Selene II. Four years later, Antony visited Alexandria again en route to make war with the Parthians. He renewed his relationship with Cleopatra, and from this point on Alexandria would be his home. He married Cleopatra according to the Egyptian rite (a letter quoted in Suetonius suggests this), although he was at the time married to Octavia Minor, sister of his fellow triumvir Octavian. He and Cleopatra had another child, Ptolemy Philadelphus.

A tetradrachm of Cleopatra VII, Ascalon mintAt the Donations of Alexandria in late 34 BC, following Antony's conquest of Armenia, Cleopatra and Caesarion were crowned co-rulers of Egypt and Cyprus; Alexander Helios was crowned ruler of Armenia, Media, and Parthia; Cleopatra Selene II was crowned ruler of Cyrenaica and Libya; and Ptolemy Philadelphus was crowned ruler of Phoenicia, Syria, and Cilicia. Cleopatra also given the title of "Queen of Kings" by Antonius. Her enemies in Rome feared that Cleopatra "was planning a war of revenge that was to array all the East against Rome, establish herself as empress of the world at Rome, cast justice from Capitolium, and inaugurate a new universal kingdom."[22] Caesarion was not only elevated having coregency with Cleopatra, but also proclaimed with many titles, including god, son of god and king of kings, and was depicted as Horus. Egyptians thought Cleopatra to be a reincarnation of goddess Isis, as she called herself (Nea Isis)[23], and she was to replace herself as Greek Aphrodite and Roman Venus, the latter honor given her by Julius Caesar.

Relations between Antony and Octavian, disintegrating for several years, finally broke down in 33 BC, and Octavian convinced the Senate to levy war against Egypt. In 31 BC Antony's forces faced the Romans in a naval action off the coast of Actium. Cleopatra was present with a fleet of her own. Popular legend states that when she saw that Antony's poorly equipped and manned ships were losing to the Romans' superior vessels, she took flight and that Antony abandoned the battle to follow her, but no contemporary evidence states this was the case. Following the Battle of Actium, Octavian invaded Egypt. As he approached Alexandria, Antony's armies deserted to Octavian on August 1, 30 BC.

There are a number of unverifiable stories about Cleopatra, of which one of the best known is that, at one of the lavish dinners she shared with Antony, she playfully bet him that she could spend ten million sesterces on a dinner. He accepted the bet. The next night, she had a conventional, unspectacular meal served; he was ridiculing this, when she ordered the second course — only a cup of strong vinegar. She then removed one of her priceless pearl earrings, dropped it into the vinegar, allowed it to dissolve, and drank the mixture. The earliest report of this story comes from Pliny the Elder and dates to about 100 years after the banquet described would have happened. The calcium carbonate in pearls does dissolve in vinegar, but slowly unless the pearl is first crushed.

The ancient sources, particularly the Roman ones, are in general agreement that Cleopatra killed herself by inducing an Egyptian cobra to bite her. The oldest source is Strabo, who was alive at the time of the event, and might even have been in Alexandria. He says that there are two stories: that she applied a toxic ointment, or that she was bitten by an asp. Several Roman poets, writing within ten years of the event, all mention bites by two asps, as does Florus, a historian, some 150 years later. Velleius, sixty years after the event, also refers to an asp. Other authors have questioned these historical accounts, stating that it is possible that Augustus had her killed.


A tetradrachm of Cleopatra VII, Syria mintPlutarch, writing about 130 years after the event, reports that Octavian succeeded in capturing Cleopatra in her Mausoleum after the death of Antony. He ordered his freedman Epaphroditus to guard her to prevent her from committing suicide because he allegedly wanted to present her in his triumph. But Cleopatra was able to deceive Epaphroditus and kill herself nevertheless. Plutarch states that she was found dead, her handmaiden, Iras dying at her feet, and another handmaiden, Charmion, adjusting her crown before she herself falls. He then goes on to state that an asp was concealed in a basket of figs that was brought to her by a rustic, and, finding it after eating a few figs, she held out her arm for it to bite. Other stories state that it was hidden in a vase, and that she poked it with a spindle until it got angry enough to bite her on the arm. Finally, he eventually writes, in Octavian's triumphal march back in Rome, an effigy of Cleopatra that has an asp clinging to it is part of the parade.

Suetonius, writing about the same time as Plutarch, also says Cleopatra died from an asp bite.

Shakespeare gave us the final part of the image that has come down to us, Cleopatra clutching the snake to her breast. Before him, it was generally agreed that she was bitten on the arm.

Plutarch tells us of the death of Antony. When his armies desert him and join with Octavian, he cries out that Cleopatra has betrayed him. She, fearing his wrath, locks herself in her monument with only her two handmaidens and sends messengers to Antony that she is dead. Believing them, Antony stabs himself in the stomach with his sword, and lies on his couch to die. Instead, the blood flow stops, and he begs any and all to finish him off.

The Death of Cleopatra by Guido Cagnacci, 1658 Another messenger comes from Cleopatra with instructions to bear him to her, and he, rejoicing that Cleopatra is still alive, consents. She won't open the door, but tosses ropes out of a window. After Antony is securely trussed up, she and her handmaidens haul him up into the monument. This nearly finishes him off. After dragging him in through the window, they lay him on a couch. Cleopatra tears off her clothes and covers him with them. She raves and cries, beats her breasts and engages in self-mutilation. Antony tells her to calm down, asks for a glass of wine, and dies upon finishing it.

The site of their Mausoleum is uncertain, though it is thought by the Egyptian Antiquities Service, to be in or near the temple of Taposiris Magna south west of Alexandria.[41]

Cleopatra's son by Caesar, Caesarion, was proclaimed pharaoh by the Egyptians, after Alexandria fell to Octavian. Caesarion was captured and killed, his fate reportedly sealed when one of Octavian's advisers paraphrased Homer: "It is bad to have too many Caesars." This ended not just the Hellenistic line of Egyptian pharaohs, but the line of all Egyptian pharaohs. The three children of Cleopatra and Antony were spared and taken back to Rome where they were taken care of by Antony's wife, Octavia Minor. The daughter, Cleopatra Selene, was married by arrangements by Octavian to Juba II of Mauretania."

In his Life of Antony, Plutarch remarks that "judging by the proofs which she had had before this of the effect of her beauty upon Caius Caesar and Gnaeus the son of Pompey, she had hopes that she would more easily bring Antony to her feet. For Caesar and Pompey had known her when she was still a girl and inexperienced in affairs, but she was going to visit Antony at the very time when women have the most brilliant beauty". Later in the work, however, Plutarch indicates that "her beauty, as we are told, was in itself not altogether incomparable, nor such as to strike those who saw her." Rather, what ultimately made Cleopatra attractive were her wit, charm and "sweetness in the tones of her voice."

Cassius Dio also spoke of Cleopatra's allure: "For she was a woman of surpassing beauty, and at that time, when she was in the prime of her youth, she was most striking; she also possessed a most charming voice and knowledge of how to make herself agreeable to every one. Being brilliant to look upon and to listen to, with the power to subjugate every one, even a love-sated man already past his prime, she thought that it would be in keeping with her role to meet Caesar, and she reposed in her beauty all her claims to the throne."

These accounts influenced later cultural depictions of Cleopatra, which typically present her using her charms to influence the most powerful men in the Western world.

That was how historian described Cleopatra. Young, beautiful, and fierce. She was also the proof how a man could easily fall in one woman's arm, even much easier than the war itself. And it's not just what beauty she has, but also how great she can use her charm to keep the power of her kingdom.

Well, people can mock her and say how bitchy she was. But boy, she's definitely irresistable. And beauty is a blessing, so as long as it's for a good aim, who has the right to say that it wasn't a right thing to do?

She put her people before her.
And yet with her fierce look and uncompromised character, she's very sensitive deep down. She was actually fall in love with Mark Anthony and she shows loyalty to everything she loves.

So now when those Hollywood people want to starred Angelina Jolie as the Cleopatra, I couln't be more... DISAGREE.